Image Courtesy of Cherie Wren
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we’re kicking it off tomorrow with our first AVA (Advocates for Victims of Abuse) informational meeting in the Twin Ports. In true Covenant-style (Evangelical Covenant Church, for those of you who don’t happen to be of Scandinavian stock or live in “da nort’land”), there will be coffee, there will be treats, but most of all, there will be people with a heart to tackle one of the most widespread, but seldom talked about, issues in our society today–domestic and sexual violence.
I got involved when I volunteered to write an article about AVA for The Covenant Companion. I had no experience with this issue, but a friend of mine told me they were having a hard time recruiting AVA advocates, and I figured this was an easy way I could help.
Boy, was I wrong.
Interviewing (and crying with) a woman who had survived ten years in a horrific, abusive marriage was not easy.
Digesting the fact that 1 in 4 little girls in our country are sexually-molested by the time they turn 14 was not easy.
Contemplating the fact that someone was molesting these girls (and boys–1 in 6 have been molested by the time they turn 18) and beating these women, and that there had to be a lot of them to achieve that level of statistical devastation, was downright harrowing.
And the fact that there is no substantial difference in those numbers between Christians and non-Christians? That oftentimes, our teachings have been twisted to protect the perpetrator and keep the victim powerless? That pissed me off.
Domestic abuse and sexual assault are not easy issues to get involved in. It is messy, it is painful, and it involves a lot of brokenness–broken hearts, broken minds, broken bodies, broken relationships. But Christ has come to redeem us, to restore us, to bring hope and healing! That’s the message we’re supposed to be shouting from our steeples!
I believe with all my heart the church needs to address this issue. When 1 in 4 of our precious little girls is being sexually violated by the time she turns 14, that’s not a “social problem”–that’s a humanitarian emergency! Our silence on something of this magnitude speaks volumes.
Let me ask you this: who is your silence protecting? We need to speak up, not only for the victims, but for the sake of those who are abusing others, who need to repent and get help. To ignore that sin is not kind–overlooking it may be the path of least resistance in the short term, but the long-term and eternal consequences are devastating.
Church, it’s time to break the silence. Domestic abuse and sexual assault thrive in darkness and silence–let’s stand up, speak out, and to bring the light of Christ to bear on this issue.
If you want to get involved, AVA has resources for individuals, churches, and clergy here. If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to find out about the resources that are available in your area. The number is 1-800-799-SAFE(7233).
For more information about this issue, and the statistics I used in this post, you can view the full article I wrote for The Covenant Companion here.
Good job, JR. This is an issue that for some reason still has not reached the level of awareness it deserves. In fact, I wish there were another word I could use besides “issue”. Crisis, perhaps? Travesty?
At work, of course, I see the results of these crimes. And crimes they are, even if never known by anyone besides the victim and the abuser. You have experienced what it’s like to sit with the women and listen to their stories. I get a similar experience by listening to testimony from victims and witnesses, family and therapists, and then I get called on to make a decision about all of it. All I can do is what the law allows me to do. Sometimes the law does not allow me to do what I think would most closely approach justice.
Happily, we have a God who is just and true, and I rely on him for true justice.
Cheers,
Tim
Thanks, Tim. I can’t imagine how you do it–I think I would be ready to crawl in a hole by the end of the day. But that’s why God made us all different, so we can work together for his purposes.
You know, I wonder if it wouldn’t be a good idea for churches to bring in people from the legal system to talk about these issues? People who are used to confronting hard issues day in and day out, honestly and frankly? I’m sure there are plenty of judges, lawyers, and other specialists who could deliver a darn good sermon on the topic.
Crawl in a hole? The temptation arises. Cry in the privacy of my chambers? Been known to happen. Call out to God for whatever he knows I need to deal with all this? Unfortunately, not as often as I should.
Why do I still find myself trying to do things in my own limited power and limited wisdom? Good question. I’m just glad that overall I’m doing it less now than I did before. Still a work in progress.
Cheers,
Tim
Really excellent, Jenny. We need to be called out on this…secrecy and silence allows issues and tragedies like this to freely run their course. We need to speak out, thank you for boldly sticking it to us.
Thank YOU Stephanie! I just discovered your posts on human trafficking–wonderful! I’ve signed up for email updates, so I shouldn’t miss any more.
Redemptive truth-telling–great phrase.
Thanks! Hot topic lately it seems..
There is an organization called GRACE, Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment, that you may want to google. I’ve encountered them online in discussions regarding abuse at missionary kid boarding schools. Most of what they focus on has to do with abuse that happens in church settings, I think, and/or with the church’s response when abuse is discovered.
Thank you for the tip! I googled the organization, found it, and bookmarked it. I am always on the lookout for good resources, especially faith-based ones that can help people make sense of what God has to say about all of this.
I will also pass this along to a friend who specializes in abuse prevention–I know she has a heart to get this info into churches!