Yep, you read that right. “Evangelicals and Eating Disorders.” That’s what I’m writing about today.
Rachel Stone just rocked my world with her post “How Patriarchy Gave Me an Eating Disorder.” I didn’t quite have the courage to share it on my Facebook wall without a little bit of context, but can I just say that her points are worthy of some SERIOUS consideration? Even if you don’t agree with everything she says, can you see how some girls could see it the way she is describing?
I know I did. (Have I not mentioned that I used to struggle with a great love of not eating? I feel stupid talking about it, because it wasn’t full-blown anorexia, not some life-or-death drama like you’d see on Lifetime TV–just enough to keep me weak and fuzzy-headed, for many of the reasons Rachel mentioned. To this day I can’t/won’t do diets–I tried it once shortly after my second son was born, and can you say RELAPSE?) Of course, what Rachel wrote wasn’t exactly my experience, but it resonated. More than anything else I’ve read on the topic.
Be pure. (Developing a figure = males might lust after you = there’s something shameful about your body = how about I just wear baggy clothes and stay pre-adolescent? Plus, I’d really prefer to only consume organically-grown vegetables–no sugar, no meat, no anything…)
Be pretty. (Yeah, evangelicals are kind of obsessed with this one. Beauty, beauty, beauty–in our homes, on our faces, on our bodies. Women are supposed to be pleasing–just not so much that we make anyone we are not married to lust after us.)
Be passive. (I’m sick. I’m tired and weak. I need to be rescued.)
Be perfect. (‘Nuff said?)
Anyway, give Rachel a hearing. I’m anxious to hear what she has to say next.
Oh! And I’m about halfway through “Unsqueezed” by my fellow Redbud Margot Starbuck. (Required reading for school keeps requiring my attention, which is why “Unsqueezed” is only half-read.) It’s a FABULOUS book, and if you can relate to this post in any way, you should totally buy it.
Glad to see the wider church having this conversation. In my work at Mercy, we see eating disorders on a regular basis, usually in conjunction with many other issues presenting. It’s always part of some bigger thing going on and I really agreed with that same article. Our girls deserve better stories than the ones we’re telling them.
“Our girls deserve better stories than the ones we’re telling them.” Which is why I’m so thankful for YOU!!!
Thanks, Jenny – and DITTO.
I love the work you guys do at Mercy. Seriously keep it up. Your perspective is what girls need to hear!
Thanks, Lauren – we appreciate that.
Thanks for pointing me toward Rachel’s post. Very compelling!
Didn’t she do an amazing job?!
Oh, there’s so much I could say on this! I had an eating disorder in college (bulimia, borderline anorexia) and being in a Christian college where purity/pleasingness/passivity/perfection were the ideals that were held up for women contributed SO MUCH to it. (The bipolar disorder contributed too, of course.) Thank God I got out of that situation and recovered before too much physical damage was done.
Laura, I’ve had several conversations lately with people who say eating disorders are even more prevalent in Christian colleges than secular ones. :-/ Scary!
How do we begin to address this with our girls, in our churches, etc? I’ve yet to hear any really good, comprehensive suggestions for addressing it. In many ways it seems like we’ve bought into our culture’s ideas about beauty and sexuality, and in some ways even magnified it. Hmm…
It is sickening. Just sickening. Being a “bigger” woman than other women, and a singer to boot, I find that I don’t get the opportunities that other “pretty/skinny” women get. It’s amazing to me that a faith that is supposed to build people up, sets the same standards for beauty and looks in music as the secular world. The girls are just a little more covered up, but the theory is the same. There is not a single, big female singer in Christian music. (Oh wait, not to be racist, but it’s okay to be a big girl if you’re black). AH! I could go on and on, but all of this is very true.
Ugh, that’s awful.
You’re so right–we’ve bought into our culture’s values about beauty hook, line and sinker. And then we glorify physical beauty and sexuality in much of our literature–Drives. Me. Crazy. What if we treated men like that??? (I guess we do a little, but CERTAINLY not to the same extent!)
Yes, there are those same standards of beauty, just more covered up, and less openly–which in some ways is worse because it feels very hypocritical.
Thanks so much for reading and responding, everyone!
Peace,
Rachel
This is wonderful. I had an eating disorder in high school and my first year of college when I was first beginning to understand the evangelical subculture. While I attribute many aspects of my anorexia to many things, I never realized that the issues she mentions could have greatly contributed to it. Thanks for your post, Jenny!
Anorexia is such a tricky thing–so many layers of stuff going on! It would be interesting to see how it has evolved–did people struggle with anorexia 100 years ago? And if not, were there psychological equivalents? (There must have been SOMETHING, right?)
From what I’ve learned in my psych classes the answer is yes. For a lot of women it is a control issue, and throughout history it’s evident that many women didn’t have control of very much. Sometimes it was somewhat an ascetic religious issue as well. There may be different motivations but it is certainly not a new thing, although it may be exacerbated by media and prevailing views about beauty.
That’s interesting–I’ve wondered how different sorts of asceticism play into it. It’s clear that people stressed about lack of control often try to find things they CAN control, but I’ve wondered if it’s always been so centered on food, or more on other things. I think asceticism deserves a post of its own at some point–do people engage in spiritual asceticism for similar reasons to why girls/women develop eating disorders? Control, structure, a sense of purging guilt, attaining transcendence? A sense of control over one’s own body? Hmm…
Well, if you want to go even more in depth, you can also talk about self harm. Of course, there are many reasons people self-harm including control, punishment, and emotional numbing. Self harm shows up in biblical times as well, and while I’m not saying everyone who self harms is ascetic, it’s interesting to think of the possible correlation of the two behaviors.
Thank you all for reading so compassionately, and thanks Jenny for the pingback! I’m really stunned by how many people are hearing this bit of my story and telling bits of theirs today. It’s truly a blessing, and I hope that these stories will give hope to those mired in the struggle and searching for joy…peace to you all!
My pleasure! Thanks for being so brave and posting! It’s a story that’s time has come, I think.
I’m hoping for the same thing you are–that people who are struggling will find hope, healing, and strength–and that maybe some of us can band together to figure out how to combat some of these issues and make things better!
I thought this issue of Mutuality, which focused largely on the way Christians deal with these issues, was FABULOUS: http://equalitydepot.com/beauty.aspx I’m sure anyone who is interested could get a back issue–I can honestly say this was the one issue of one magazine that I would like to give to just about every girl I know in the church. This is an IMPORTANT topic!!!
Thanks again for writing, Rachel.
I can’t wait to see part 2!
I’m going to check that out! Meanwhile, re: gnosticism, maybe you will like this oldie but goodie: http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2011/03/another_gnostic_christian_diet.html
Wherein I whinge about Made to Crave… =)
Great article! The comments were interesting too–so interesting to see the conclusions people’s experiences with eating (how we USE food?) lead them to. And interesting that control is such a big issue on both sides of the issue. Hmm…
I can’t remember exactly how you put it, but I loved what you said about the addictive nature of “fake” food, too. So true! Even if it always makes me think of a line from “So I Married an Axe Murderer,” when the dad is complaining about KFC in his thick Scottish brogue: “Ach, the Colonel with his wee, beady eyes! They put addictive chemicals in your food to make you crave it fortnightly!” (HUGE tangent there!)
20 years of youth ministry ‘resonates’ with what you all are talkin’ about. Thank you SO much for bringing this to light.
-Bo
(p.s. two weeks ago I blogged with Julie Clawson about image and identity – she is incredible and I have heard from so many people about it).
Thanks for dropping by and commenting, Bo! Hey, do you have a link to the posts your wrote with Julie? They sound great!